Open Mouth, Insert Foot

The nanny called me at the office to say that baby Emmy found her feet. Not that they were ever missing -- she just woke up one day and realized they were there. And not only did she discover that she has feet, she also discovered that if she leans her head forward just a little bit and at the same time pulls her feet up toward her face, she can easily fit one foot nicely in her mouth.

One day, say in about 14 years, she will be mortified that she ever did that. And I will have lots of pictures of it to show her friends and potential boyfriends. Gosh, I love being the parent!

If I'm honest about my feelings, there's something kind of gut-wrenching about getting a call from the nanny to hear about the baby finding her feet for the first time. I mean, it's crazy-exciting that she's exploring her world and discovering new things, but it's also painful to realize that she's doing these things when I'm not there to experience them with her. Even as I sit in my office doing a job that I love, there's nothing I wouldn't have given to watch little Emmy shoving those toes in her mouth for the first time.

With ChellBell, I was home during her first 18 months and got to see a lot of her "firsts", although ironically I was at a Junior League meeting when she rolled over the first time and was in the bathroom when she took her first step (Chris got to experience both of those moments). But largely, this working-mom-with-a-newborn thing is new for me. I read a post today where a woman professed her jealousy of her SAHM friends, and I would guess that many working moms have those moments, just like many moms at home have those moments where they wish they could have a day at the office.

I'm learning to juggle it all including the realization that I'm going to miss out on some "firsts". But I figure that there will be a first time for me to see her do everything, even if it's not really the first time. There will always be days where the grass looks greener in someone else's yard, but for today I'm just going to enjoy my work and then rush home to tell Emmy all about the piggy who went to the market.

Thirty seconds with Emmy

We find delight in the beauty and happiness of children that makes the heart too big for the body. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

That Face!

I love having a long weekend to spend time loving on this girl







And this girl







How blessed we are!

Hi Ho, Hi Ho

Remember Snow White and her little friends, the Dwarfs, who sang all happy-ish while they marched off to work? I can't remember what job they had -- some sort of manual labor -- but I always wondered how they could be so happy about their jobs.

This past week I Hi-Ho'd myself back to work after 8 weeks of maternity leave. I can't say that I whistled a happy tune or sang on my commute to the office. Instead, I just cried and yawned a lot thanks to being hormonal and not getting any sleep. That is, until I got to the office, and then I put on my happy face and my serious let's-get-to-work facade and jumped back in the game.

My boss is glad that things are back to normal. He's glad that everything is the same as it used to be before I left. He sees the same girl who has been working for him for years. I am parking in the same spot, sitting at the same desk, wearing the same pre-maternity suits that I did before. I run the same meetings and have the same goals.

But I am not the same girl.

I'm a mother of 2 now.
I've welcomed a second girl into our family.
I've had 8 weeks off from work to readjust my priorities and remember that the most important things in life are the man I sleep next to at night, the baby I feed in the middle of the night, and the sweet girl who for the past 8 weeks has gotten off the bus at 3:14 and run home to tell me about her day.

Don't get me wrong -- I love my job. I love the work I do and the people I meet every day. It is a privilege for me to get to help someone find a new job and share that excitement with them. It is fulfilling for me, and I love the company where I work.

But in the past, it's been my focus. Sometimes I've gotten so excited about success at work that I've lost sight of what's waiting at home. Sometimes my priorities have gotten a little out of line, and I've put my job before my family.

It's amazing what an 8 week step back will do to remind you of what's important. It's amazing what 6 pounds 8 ounces of baby can do to turn your life upside down. It's amazing how a family of 4 sitting around the dinner table makes me rush home at the end of the day.

I know it will get easier to get back into work. The goodbyes in the morning won't be quite as hard. But nothing will ever be the same.

And that's a good thing. Enough to even make me whistle a little bit.

Haikus from a new Mom

Week One:

You were very loved

Before you were even born

Welcome to the world!

Week Two:

Sleep has been exchanged

For holding this sweet baby

What a lovely trade

Last night (Week Three):

Baby sleeps all night

Mama stays awake checking

Oh the irony

And some Iambic Pentameter from the Little Dog:

I can't believe they brought a baby home

She's always in my spot on Daddy's lap

Who is this mistress stealing all my love?

Did they forget that I'm the baby here?!

I will not have a thing to do with her

In hopes that one day she will go away

And in the meantime, I will sit and sulk

And find more things to chew on in the house

It's the end of the world as we know it

It's 6:30 AM, the alarms are getting ready to go off, and craziness will ensue in our home. Getting breakfast made, notebooks signed, hair flat-ironed, trying to find another day of maternity clothes that fit over this belly that are appropriate for the office, and get out the door with carpool in time for the kids to be at school before the bell rings.

Most families I know are going through their usual routines this morning. It's a normal Thursday, and this is what we do on Thursdays.

But this morning, I am taking just a minute to ponder on a normal Thursday. Because tomorrow, it all changes.

Tomorrow we will wake up super-early and head to the hospital. And while everyone else is running around with their Friday routine, getting lunches made and notebooks signed, we will be having a baby. And the next time I come to a Thursday or Friday, our routine will look completely different, because we will be a family of four, and our morning routine will involve a new little life.

We've been a family of 3 for going on 10 years now, so I'm not quite sure how to anticipate the change. Long gone are the days of diapers and someone who is dependent on me for everything. Long gone are the days where we were awoken during the night by a baby's cry. But here we are at the starting line again, ready to shock our systems and try it for the second time.

We are thrilled. A little nervous, but thrilled. It's been a long journey to get to this point, and it is surreal to think a baby will be joining us in about 24 hours.

So today I'm just going to enjoy my Thursday with my family of 3, pondering on the amazing years we have had together, and tomorrow we will celebrate adding Emmy, and becoming a family of 4.

It's the end of the world as we know it. And I feel fine!

Making Progress

In less than 4 weeks, our little Emmy will make her debut and soon be heading home to her new room. With me having to stay off my feet these past few weeks, it has been hard to make much progress in the nursery. But with the help of my fabulous husband and one very excited big sis, we're getting closer to being finished. I still need to find a rug, hang some things on the walls, and wait for the side table to arrive, but it's exciting to watch this room come together!

Take a look!

A Mom's Request

Dear Baby Emmy,

7 weeks from today, you are scheduled to make your debut. I will be holding you in my arms, which seems a little surreal to even think about. And while the last 32 weeks have seemed like a long wait, my heart has been waiting even longer to add you to our family.

But we do have 7 weeks left before that magical moment of your birth, so let’s get a few things straight.

1. I need sleep. I am well-aware that after you are born, you will keep me up all night, and I am prepared for that. But right now, I take carpool in the mornings and go to work and need to actually be productive at the office, which is difficult to do when you keep me up all night. Kicking and moving from 2 – 5 AM is just not acceptable. Please try to do whatever it is you are doing in there between the hours of 8 AM and about 10 PM.

2. Please stop making me throw up. You and I have been together for 32 weeks now, and the whole throwing up thing in the beginning was tolerable, even sweet some days, because it reminded me that you were in there and growing. But at this point my belly looks like I swallowed a small planet, I pee all the time, and you constantly kick me (refer to request #1), so I seriously no longer need the throwing-up as a reminder. We are all fully aware that you are alive and well.

3. My bladder is not a trampoline. Please stop bouncing on it.

4. My ribs are not for playing hide and seek, so please stop trying to wiggle your way behind them.

5. Please enjoy the 7 weeks you have in your nice, warm environment, because I don’t think – for a while, anyway – you’ll find the outside world to be as cozy and wonderful. In our world, the lights are very bright, you have to ask for food, and there are dogs who will want to smell (and maybe even lick) you. Once you get used to all of that, though, you will realize that it is pretty cool out here. You’ll realize that you have this amazing family including a really funny Daddy who will sing silly songs to you and rock you tirelessly when you are unhappy. And your big sister, who is so loving and will make up songs for you and try to make you laugh and teach you how to read. There are so many friends and family members who have been praying for you for an awfully long time. There are all kinds of things to explore – things that have different colors, things that all feel differently, and things that have different smells. There is hugging and kissing and laughing. And the shoes… Oh, there are the most beautiful shoes waiting for you!

6. We are getting a beautiful pink nursery ready for you with the most amazing crib, and everything will be ready for you when you arrive. But no need to rush – stay your 7 weeks. You have a whole lifetime waiting for you.

Love,

Mama