Let's Do A 180... (Months, that is!)

My dearest Chell-Bell,

When you were young, I used to write to you on the 4th of every month to document the progress you'd made that month - new words, new foods, new "firsts".  As you've grown, those monthly posts have become few and far between, even though you've continued to experience new things and have new "firsts".  Today is a good day to revive that tradition, because today marks 180 months of YOU.  It's stunning to think you have been growing up under my nose for 15 years, and yet that number still takes me by surprise.

I look forward to seeing you live your life as a 15 year old.  You're tough, and you've got some battle scars to show how you got there.  You're silly, and not everyone may get your puns, but those who do appreciate your gift. You're wholesome.  That's not a popular word these days, but staying in the lane of what's right will save you from a lot and serve you well.  It also means you hang out with friends who have an appreciation for what is good, and those who have similar values. You're confident in who you are, which is a gift in itself.

Challenge yourself this year to ensure that no one is invisible. Even people doing the least notable thing around you -- make them feel valued.  Make them feel appreciated.  Consider every encounter - whether a smile in passing or sitting next to someone in class - a divine occurrence, and make it count.

Cheers to 180! (Hey, if you were a dog, you'd only be 2!).
I love you!

The Beauty of 156 (and that is not dog years)

Dearest Cella,

When you were younger, and I was an active blogger with much more time on my hands, I would write a post to you on the 4^th of every month to celebrate one more month of the world having Cella in it.  Today makes 156 months of having you in our family and also, if you do the math, makes you a teenager. 

Your name “Cella” comes from two words that mean Beautiful – Bella and Calla – and then we threw that "ch" sound in there to throw people off from the fact that we are actually German and make them think we are a fancy Italian family.  Before you were even born, I told your Dad, “I want to make her life Beautiful!” And with that, we knew you would be called Cella.

I took it as my mission to bring beauty to your life – the dresses you wore, the room where you slept, the pictures we took, and the memories we made.  I’ve wanted so much to surround you with all things Beautiful.   So it surprises me to realize that it's actually YOU who has brought Beautiful to my life over and over again during the past thirteen years.  Your name has ended up portraying exactly who you are and how you have impacted our lives so much more than any world I could create for you. 

There is such beauty when you dance and when you sing.  There is beauty in your passion.  There is beauty in your vulnerability and also in your secret strength that continues to surprise me. There is beauty in your determination to be different and silly and march to beat of your own, unique drum.  There is beauty in the way you give love and receive love.

Okay, so there is also a lot of drama, and I find very little beauty in that J, but I stirred up my share of drama during middle school, and thankfully there is an expiration date on drama for most people. And there can actually be beauty in the maturing process.

You are a Beautiful girl, and you make me incredibly proud to be your Mom.  Thank you for making my world Beautiful and for letting me be engaged and present in your life.

I truly love you to the depths of my ability to love.

xoxo Mom

120 months on a scale of 1- 10

Dear ChellBell,

Today you turn 120 months old, and it doesn't take a math wizard to figure out that your age has just jumped up to 2 digits from having only one for the past 9 years and 364 days. This is a milestone that won't be topped until you hit 100. In other words, today is kind of a big day.

In all of time, or at least since I've been around, it hasn't been good enough to measure things with words. Words like "good" or "great" or "horrid" or "fantastic" just weren't enough. We've always had to measure things with numbers - to score things. We'll say, "how would you rate that?" or "on a scale of one to 10, how was it?" and 10 is always the best. It represents greatness. It represents perfection, and something that couldn't be better. We use the phrase "a perfect 10" to refer to someone who is crazy-beautiful or a balance beam routine that has no flaws. You just can't get better than 10.

It seems less than coincidental that you are turning 10 today, because these really are the best days of your life. Don't get me wrong - growing up is great, and of course getting married and being a Mom can be great also. But at 10, you are discovering how big the world is and who you are choosing to be in that world. Your responsibilities are still relatively light and your days still involve recess and lunch with friends and summer camp. And you have your whole life ahead of you. These are definitely good days. A 10 on a scale of 1 - 10.

You have changed drastically in the past 10 years. So drastically, that it seems like there is no way the time should have passed as quickly as it has. You have gone from being a tiny baby to a silly little girl to a smart and hilarious young lady with so much potential, and you've done it all in what seems to be the blink of an eye. So fast. I might even say Too fast. But with every turn in the road, with every change, with every milestone, you have become more amazing than before.

I love you. I am proud of you. I am proud to be your Mom. I hope you have a wonderful birthday and that you love being 10. Regardless of what this year brings for you, you will always no-matter-what be loved by your family. Our home will always be a safe place to ask questions and talk about life. You will always be important to me, and I will always be grateful to have you as my friend. And I will always feel that having you in my life rates a perfect 10.

Love, Mom

Cella's 10th from Rebecca Darling on Vimeo.

119 months - saying goodbye to 9

Dear ChellBell,

You are well into 119 months, with your tenth birthday right around the corner. It takes my breath away that I have been given an entire decade with you, to watch you grow and learn and make mistakes, and to watch me grow and learn and make mistakes at the same time. We're taking this walk together, you know, and just because I'm supposedly an adult, I am still growing up as a Mom right by your side.

I wish you could have a day in my shoes to watch you. You would learn a lot about yourself. You would understand why I say you're beautiful. You would see that you have a million reasons to believe in yourself. You would see how incredibly talented you are. You would see that you and I are completely different in so many ways, and that my creativity is being stretched to find the best ways to keep you in check, keep you as naive as a 9 year old should be, and keep you as informed as a 9 year old should be. And you would see how my heart pounds with love for you.

Plain and simple. I'm crazy about you. Even in the moments where we look at each other and wonder, "what planet did she come from??" - even then, I'm crazy about you. I do not want to take one day with you for granted, and I hope you don't take for granted one single day of life.

Do you ever get tired of my phrase, "One day you'll understand..."? Well, make a list my friend, because when you become a Mom, you really will understand a lot more things. Things just make sense that never really did before. You understand why your Mom did all those crazy over-protective stay-up-til-you-get-home kinds of things. You understand why your Mom taught you to chew with your mouth closed. You understand why your Mom told you to not gossip or say mean things and to hang out with good kids. All those things that seem to be so blah-blah-blah to you right now. They will all make sense. And you will find yourself saying many of the things I say to you now, and you'll stop and smile a little bit, because you'll finally understand that your Mom really did want the best for you.

But right now, I know you are starting to question if I really know what I'm doing. And here in a few years, you'll be convinced that I don't. And I might agree with you from time to time.

But my love for you, well, that's not going anywhere. I will always know what I'm doing when it comes to that. Because, honestly, I just can't help it.

Enjoy your last few weeks of being 9 and the ending of your first decade. The best is yet to come, my friend.

Love, Mom

106 months (depending on your time zone)

Dear ChellBell,

Today you are 106 months old, which, if you have memorized your math facts for 12 (or if you've been watching the calendar at all) means that you are 9 years old. This is the last year you will only have one digit in your age. And because it's the year before a big change comes, like having TWO numbers in your age, you should make the most of this year, and enjoy each and every moment. Nine is one of those cross-over years when you really think you know more than maybe even the adults around you, but in all honesty, you're still just figuring out the world. I hope that while you are nine, you will still let me help you figure it out. Right next to you. Right by your side. I hope that you will help me see the world like a nine year old does, because these 39-year old eyes play tricks on me, and sometimes they don't see the things that are important to a nine-year-old girl, or sometimes I just see them from a grown-up perspective instead of remembering what the world was like when I only had one digit in my age.

It's been a super-fun birthday today, getting to be on vacation in Singapore and getting to hang out with dear friends. Can you believe that while we were singing "happy birthday" and helping you blow out the candles on your birthday breakfast cake this morning, your friends back home were still on the day before, and they were getting ready to go to bed. Isn't it funny how time differences and time zones work? I think it means that we just get to celebrate your birthday even longer!

We've had a great trip, and I'm so glad that you have a super-cool memory of being on vacation in such a cool place. But regardless of where we go, what time it is, or what language they speak, I will always been at home with you. You are the most amazing thing to have ever happened to me, and I will forever be without words to thank God for you.

My sweet friend, My girl, My ChellBell, My nine year-old.

Happy, happy birthday.

8.5 x 12 = 102

Dear ChellBell,

This is the month where you turn 102 months old and more importantly, stand at the spot that is exactly half-way between being 8 and 9 years old. And now when people ask how old you are, you don't just have to say "eight" -- you can say "eight and a HALF!" (you could always say "one hundred and two", but that might confuse people.)

There has been a great debate about half over the years. Adults will ask you, "is the glass half EMPTY or half FULL?" I know eight-and-a-half year olds do not waste their time asking each other these things. It's just something you do when you get old and realize that a. you don't have to have the answer to every question, and b. that sometimes it is just fun to argue a different answer than what someone else has. Another thing about adults is that we say things that have nothing to do with what we are meaning. Like the glass being empty or full. The question has nothing to do with a glass. It is actually asking if you are looking at what is there, or if you are looking at what is not there (the full part versus the empty part -- get it?).

So if you'll oblige me while I go on about the glass for just another moment, I would say that your eight-and-a-half-year-old-ness is definitely half FULL. The past 102 months have been packed with you growing like a weed -- not just in your height (although it's crazy that you're almost as tall as me!), but also in the way you think and they way you process and the way you love. You've learned things the easy way (like "i-g-h-t says ite") and you've learned things the hard way (like doing cartwheels can lead to a broken arm). You know what a loving family looks like, and what it feels like to have someone you can talk with. You've learned what it means to work hard for something that you really want, and how good it feels to serve other people. You know what it's like to have a life-long friend, and that you have to be a friend in order to have a friend.

You have loved and been loved, and that is life at its fullest!

My True Friend from Rebecca Darling on Vimeo.

I love you ChellBell, and thank God for another month of you!

xoxox

(amazing video by Darling Memories -- Run, don't walk, to Becca's site and enter her Spring Break giveaway right now!!!)

One-O-One (101 months)

Dear ChellBell,

Happy one-hundred-and-one-months to you! Your “century” (100) month flew by while we were busy celebrating life and the holidays, so I’m happy to be kicking off 2010 by writing about and celebrating one-hundred-and-one months of YOU.

When you think of 101, you probably think of Dalmatians (which is a lot of Dalmatians, by the way. Can you imagine if they were all as bad as the Little Dog??!!)

When I think of 101, I think of a highway in California that runs by the ocean. I think of the temperature it reaches in Dallas before school even lets out for the summer. But mostly I think of guide books and tutorials. You see, “101” is a phrase that people use when they are talking about an introduction to something. For example, “Blogging 101” would teach the basics of blogging. “Sewing 101” would teach basic stitches and how to thread your machine. “101” has become synonymous with “getting started.”

2010 is going to be a big year of growth for you as you finish the 3rd grade and turn 9. We are hoping to take you to Hong Kong and China this summer to see your Mimi and G’Daddy, so you’ll get exposure to different countries and cultures. I can tell by the phrases you use and the questions you ask that you are going to move more and more into the world of Tween-ness this year, long before I will be ready for you to reach that destination. 2010 will be a year of you learning the basics about getting older, like “Texting Your Friends 101,” “Downloading Apps 101” and “Not Spending All Your Money on Downloading Apps 101”. I pray that you will sail through “Loving People Even When They’re Not Nice To You 101” and “Including Everyone Even If They Are Different From You 101”. No doubt you will think that being a Tween is being grown-up, but you will learn otherwise from my lessons to you entitled “Remembering That Your Mom Is Older And Wiser 101” and “Just Because You Think You’re Grown Up Doesn’t Mean You Are And Certainly Doesn’t Mean That You Don’t Have To Listen To Your Mom 101”.

The past month with you has been fantastic. I always love our time together over the holidays, with no work or voicemails or emails to interrupt. I’m glad that we celebrated Christmas from the first day of December until the last, and I’m glad that Christmas was more about making memories instead of just the packages we opened.

You are amazing. Sometimes I am baffled at how you got that way, considering how trial and error our parenting is. Thanks for believing without a doubt that you are loved. Thanks for believing that I will always be there for you. Thanks for believing that I am crazy about you. Thanks for believing in yourself. Thanks for making my life so full. Thanks for making me laugh. Thanks for not being afraid to ask me about things. Thanks for being my little friend.

That, ChellBell, is Life 101.

99.1

Dear ChellBell,

Today you are 99 months and 1 day old. Thanks to a blogging hiatus, you skipped right over 98 months, and here we are practically at the turn of a century.

Remember when you learned to count? I don't mean from 1 to 10, I mean BIG counting, when forty, fifty, and sixty were involved? Remember when you learned to count all the way to 100? This is how you always said it: "ninety-seven, ninety-eight, ninety-niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine.......One hundred!" You would always drag out that last nine until you were ready to move on to one hundred.

I kind of feel that way about ninety-nine months for you. This has been an amazing month of fun, of growing up, of losing teeth, of hanging out, of character-shaping discussions. And you have weathered it well. And I would like to freeze time here for a bit. To drag out ninety-niiiiiiine just a little longer, until we have to move on to 100. But unfortunately, life doesn't work like that, so I will snapshot the memories in my heart and look with anticipation to what comes next.

It's a lot like those teeth that you're losing. Like that one last front tooth that needs to come out. Do you know why it sticks straight out instead of pointing down like the rest of the teeth? It's because there is a grown up tooth coming in, pushing the baby tooth out of the way. I see the grown up tooth, and there just isn't room for both. And just like your teeth, you're losing a little bit more "baby-ness" every day. My prayer is that as the grown-up-ness starts coming in, it will reflect all the things God made you to be: kind, fair, inclusive, sharing, patient, and beautiful.

You know I love you with my whole heart, and then some. Happy 99 months!

xoxo,

Mama

Extraordinary-ness of Sept. 4

Dear ChellBell,

I decided to blog every day this month about the extraordinary things in my life. Sometimes as we get older, everything becomes, well, a little routine. There are amazing things that get lost in all the normal day-to-day things, like working and making dinner and brushing teeth.

Today you turn 97 months old. One of my absolute favorite things to do is to write every month about how you're growing up, how much joy you've brought to my life, and all the things we've done in the past month. The only thing that tops writing about you each month is just watching you each month and living life day-in and day-out with you. You, my friend, are extraordinary. Seriously, you top my list of extraoridnary-ness.

Not to say that we don't have our moments (mornings are still pretty hard for us, aren't they?), but it's nothing that a little talk or a small package of Pop Rocks can't fix.

We have packed a lot into this 97th month, haven't we? Wrapping up the summer, spending a week in Sanibel, and you starting the 3rd grade! Whew, I'm tired just thinking about it all!

Third grade is tough, ChellBell. It's the year where the teachers start treating you like a big-kid (almost a grown-up) and teach you about being responsible. There will be times when you will just want to throw your pencil down or not read a chapter or not study for a test. But taking responsibility is one of the things you need to do to grow up.

Just remember that when you get frustrated, or when you make a mistake, or when you want to give up, remember that I've been there. I was a third grader once. I once was 97 months old. And I know what it's like. And I will help you through. Because that's what Moms are for. And that's what friends do for each other.

I love you, my ChellBell. You are as extraordinary as extraordinary can be.

Love,
Mama

96 divided by 12 -- you do the math

Dearest ChellBell,

96 months ago today, I was sitting in a hospital bed listening to your heartbeat in a monitor, wondering if you would ever decide to actually come out and join us. I spent a lot of time that day wondering how different our lives would be with a baby around. I wondered if I would ever get a good night's rest again. I wondered what you would look like and how long it would take for you to know that I was your Mom, that I was the one who had carried you for the past 9 months.

But I never thought about you at Eight. I guess I was so wrapped up in when you would get teeth, that I never thought about you losing them. Or getting an allowance. Or going off to camp by yourself for a week.

But all of a sudden we're here. You're eight today. And I realize at this moment how quickly time has flown. Way faster than I ever dreamed it would.

Lying in that hospital bed with all those questions, I never ever would have guessed that a little 6 pound 4 ounce red-head bundle of baby would be able to take a pretty awesome life and make it perfect. I never would have guessed that you would be able to make me smile as big as you do and make me fall wildly in love with you. I have never been more proud, more crazy, more overwhelmed, more content, more complete than I am as your Mom. You are a sweet daughter and a sweet friend, and for as much as I have taught you over the past 8 years, you have taught me even more.

I love you and can't wait to see what God has planned for you this year.

Happy Birthday, ChellBell.

Love, Mama

233 years and 95 months

Dear ChellBell,

Today is a special occasion for two reasons. First, our Country is 233 years old today. 233 years ago, the Declaration of Independence was signed, and we gained amazing, invaluable freedom. America has definitely had its share of ups and downs in the past 233 years, but regardless, we have our freedom. As you grow older, you will understand more deeply the privilege it is to be an American and live in the land of the free and the home of the brave.

Today is also special to me because you turn 95 months old. Which means this will be the last monthly note I write to you as a seven-year-old. As a seven-year-old, you have had quite a journey! You have earned 4 karate belts, taken 39 piano lessons, gone to 4 cheer competitions, and memorized the books of the Old Testament. You have lost 1 tooth. You have gone up 2 shoe sizes. And you have brought endless smiles to me and Daddy.

I just want to thank you for being such a sweet girl, ChellBell. This has been a hard month for me, and you have been there every step of the way, offering sweet words and gestures. Always asking how I am feeling, and telling me how much you love me. I hope you have the chance to be a big sister one day, Chell, because I think you'll be great at it. You are so independent, but there is something very nurturing about you also.

It has been neat to watch you grow so much in the past year, and definitely in the past month. I am so very proud of you -- I love how you try new things and push yourself even when you are unsure. I love how you are finding your musical talents. I love how you are gaining so much confidence in who you are.

Enjoy your last month as a seven-year-old, and next month we will celebrate EIGHT! Remember why everyone was scared of seven? Because seven ate nine... HA!

Love you, my sweet girl!

-Mama

94 Months (and 2 days)

Dear ChellBell,

Here I am, late in posting my monthly note to you about turning 94 months old. And now you're actually 94 months and 2 days.  And a lot has happened in the past month.  

We spent the night at the zoo.  A first and probably a last for me, but I'm so glad you enjoyed it.  What I would give to be young and resilient after sleeping on a concrete floor in a skunk-smelling room all night!  

You earned your purple belt in karate and somehow convinced Daddy to give karate a try.

You were a beautiful flower girl in Miss Jocelyn's wedding.

You were chosen as Student of the Month at school -- way to go!

You auditioned for your school talent show and made it.  Even your teacher got a little teary-eyed when you performed in front of the whole school -- what a brave thing to do!

And you successfully went from being a second grader to a third grader!  Hooray!

You have learned a lot this year, and it's amazing to think back to the girl you were when I dropped you off that first day of 2nd grade and compare that girl to who you are now.  You've grown in so many ways -- in confidence, bravery, compassion...  And you will need all of those things to be successful in the third grade.

Remember in Alice in Wonderland, how some of the doors were really small and some of the doors were really big?  Third grade is a really big door.  It's a door into big-kid land, where so much will be expected of you.  It's a big leap from the second grade.  And there will be times when you get frustrated and want to quit somehow, but you'll learn to keep going and give it your best.

But for now, it's summer.  And summer always promises wonderful, lazy days of hanging out at the pool, watching movies, and going to camp with friends.

I say it all the time, but I want you to know that I L-O-V-E you with capital letters.  I think you are one amazing girl, and even if you weren't mine, I would want to know you.  But I'm so glad you ARE mine.  You make my world wonderful.

xoxo, 

Mama

Love Letters

If you ever visit Pop Rocks on the 4th of the month, you'll find a special post written to my 7 year old daughter, ChellBell.  She was born on August 4th, and every month I like to remind her about things she's experienced and things we've done, but also let her in on how I feel about her. 

Monthly Notes to ChellBell are always pretty sappy, but it's honestly because I am crazy about her and never, ever want her to doubt that or forget that.

That kind of written expression comes naturally to me, because I grew up with it.  My parents are both gifted writers (my sister is as well), and though words of love were often spoken, they were just as often written.  Written on notes, written on napkins in a lunchbox, written in letters. I am crazy about the written word.  Especially when it's a love letter.  Because love letters are tangible.  And they are forever.  Sometimes they last longer than the author, and sometimes they last longer than the love itself.  The written word lasts, and it is there to be experienced over and over again.

My Mom lurks on my blog (I just found out), and posted a comment on the Mom's Day post.  It was very moving and emotional for me, and I wanted to share it.  I wanted to just share the honesty and love that comes from her.  You'll see that it has flowed down through the generations.  I was loved by my Mom, which taught me how to love as a Mom.  

After leaving the comment, Mom apologized for it being so long (she's new to blogging protocol), but I say she's allowed to leave comments as long and as often as she wants!

Christie, I always cry through your blog.

Your Dad asked me what I wanted for Mother's Day. I told him I didn't need anything. He asked what I wanted. I couldn't even think of anything I wanted, yet I got it...to spend fun time with my family. Everyday life is a gift, especially when there is relationship in the family. 

You know I have always hated those cards that say, "Although I never say it...!" And I want to yell, "Go ahead and say it, say it, say it...every day, say it!" And you do say it...to your child, your husband, your parents. Thank you for demonstrating love in ways far greater than words can express.

I have seen how you and your sister have grown into beautiful ladies, and I don't know how that happened with me as a mother. Then I realize I had little to do with it, other than spending much time on my knees talking to your Father, and with the guidance of your earthly father...plus asking for forgiveness often. I made all the mistakes a parent can make... and not just once. I still question God, asking why YOU were not the mother and me, the child. I learn so much about Godly mothering from you. And actually as I see you and Cella together, I think I would like to start over again and have another chance. (Easier to say at my age than to do!) You are a wonderful Mom.

I remember the day you were a little older than Cella, and you wanted to know if you could ask me a question without hurting my feelings. I began to cry out to God for wisdom even before I heard the question. You asked, "Mom, when I grow up, do I have to be like you?" I knew it was "one of those impact moments," and God did give me wisdom. I remember saying, "Yes, honey, you have to be like me. You have to love the Lord with all your heart. Other than that, you don't have to be like me at all." You smiled and said, 
"Wow. Thanks Mom." I didn't know if I had won or lost...but I knew that was the right answer. 

You are so unlike me in so many ways...And that is a complement, filled with much joy and gratitude. You have "improved" life and broken the generational "stuff." You have taken some of the good things of your Dad's and my life and have improved them and added to them. That is exciting to watch. 

When I was growing up, I didn't know you could love your children, much less LIKE them. Heck, I didn't even know you could like yourself. And when you and your sister showed me love, it overwhelmed me and taught me about God Himself. You still do. And I doubt that Cella will ever question the love of God because she sees it daily in you and Chris. I love that.

You truly are a delight. I need nothing else. I actually don't even want anything...my life is so blessed. I understand grace! And I love calling you my friend!
Mom

93 and counting

Dear ChellBell,

Today I ran across some old pictures on our video camera by accident.  What a gift to take a walk down memory lane and remember the spunk and spirit you brought to us when you were so little.  It made me smile that you are 93 months old today, and you are still bringing us that spunk and spirit, but now in an "I've-got-my-act-together-because-I'm-in-the-second-grade" kind of way.  

Daddy and I knew shortly after you were born that your fire-red hair was an indication of your fire-red spirit, and that it would be the thing we would love the most about you but also the thing that would challenge us the most.  And you did not disappoint.

That fire-red spirit brought us moments like this:

and this:

And now we get moments like this:

I've been more sentimental than usual in the past month about you growing up.  I hear you using words like "literally" and "horrendous" in every-day sentences, and I'm reminded that you aren't a little girl any more.  And even though I'm crazy about the 93-month old that you've become, something inside of me wants to remember you as that little bitty girl who needed her Mama for pretty much everything.  Who didn't know anything about boyfriends or cell phones.  Who didn't yet know about hurt feelings and peer pressure.

But I can't keep you little.  Heck, I can't keep you at 93 months.  And I won't try.  But you can keep your fire-red spirit, and I hope you always do.  

I love you, precious one.  I love watching you grow and becoming the You you were always intended to be.

xoxo,

Mama

ninety two going on fourteen

Dear ChellBell, 

Today you turn 92 months old.  That breaks down to 7 years and 8 months, and just 2 months shy of closing the door on the second grade.

This has been a very fun month for us.  Seriously, there is nothing, nothing, nothing you could ever do to make me love you less.  But you keep finding ways to make me love you more and more.

I was watching you run through the park the other day, and I had to stop for a moment when I realized how long your legs are and how tall you are and how you went from a sweet-baby-face to a beautiful-girl-face overnight.  You are learning about problem solving and doing for yourself and communication.  It's all so very grown up, and I'm not sure I'm ready for it.  You have become my little friend rather than just my child, although I will continue to remind you that I am the Mom when the need arises.

You are like Daddy in so many ways.  You definitely have Daddy's wit and sense of humor.  Both of you like to take the easiest, fastest way to wherever you're headed, while I will make sure to get there the prettiest way.  You both are more introvert than extro-, but you both make people feel included.  You both are very simple and are very kind to put up with me and my total avoidance of simplicity.  

But there was hope the other day that you might be a tad like me, when you put on your new Tory Burch flats (yes, Chris, I splurged) and announced that even though they didn't feel so great, they were very cute and that you would wear them until they got comfy.

That's my girl.  That's just how most cute shoes are.  And they're worth it, once they're worn in...

I am so happy that we have solved our hateful-in-the-morning dilemma, now that Daddy and I are bringing you breakfast-in-bed.  Why didn't we think of it sooner?? It is an easy solution to a horrid problem, don't you think?  I'm glad it's working.  I do feel bad for the man who marries you, because he will be stuck with breakfast-in-bed duty, and I'm thinking that he won't be too thrilled about that one.  But I'll do it every morning, if it gets you up on time with a smile on your face.

So, happy 92 months of You-ness.  I'm so very happy to be your Mom.  It is definitely my favorite job in the world.

All of my xoxoxoxo to you, my sweet.

today makes 91 months

HER:

ME:

US:

ChellBell is 91 months old today, and I am celebrating one more month of being a Mom to this sweet girl (except in the mornings, she is NOT sweet in the mornings, but we'll skip that for the sake of this happy post).  I adore you, my Cella-Bear, and even though we are different in many ways, I am glad we have a great time together.  How lucky I am to have you as my little friend.  

xxoo

"A daughter is a mother's gender partner, her closest ally in the family confederacy, an extension of her self.  And mothers are their daughters' role model, their biological and emotional road map, the arbiter of all their relationships."~Victoria Secunda 

Month-o-Love Day 4: fractions

Day 4: I heart...
This 7 and a half year old

Dear ChellBell,

Today you are 90 months old, which divided by 12, carry the one, subtract the 6... comes out to 7.5, or 7 1/2 in non-metric speak. And that means that you are standing at the midpoint -- the very center spot -- between being a seven year old and being an eight year old.

It has been a very busy half year for you!

You have earned two karate belts. You have learned to play the piano. You have gotten straight A's on your report cards. You have seen the White House. You have visited Daddy in ICU. You have outgrown 3 pair of jeans. And you have decided that you don't like olives.

That's a lot to fit into 6 months. It's crazy to think about all you'll be able to accomplish with all the half-years you still have ahead!

But regardless of how many years that is, and what you accomplish or what you don't accomplish, it won't change how much I love you. You are mine, and I love you with my whole heart. The entire thing. When you're silly, when you're mad, when you like me, when you don't, when you obey, when you test the limits. All the time. I love you. Completely.

No fraction in that equation.

A new year, A new month (89 to be exact)

Dear ChellBell,

It is the fourth day of the month, and actually the fourth day of the year, and today you are 89 months old. You have lived a lot of life in the last month, which is typical of the holidays -- parties, dinners, time with friends and family, presents, shopping... And although the Wii is the biggest highlight of this month for you, I honestly think that ten years from now, when the Wii has conveniently been replaced by generations of more exciting, trendy, techno-toys, you will remember our vacation to the Nation's Capital as the highlight of this month. You will realize at some point that you were in the heart of what happens in our Country, and the World for that matter. You walked the streets where our Congressmen and Legislators walk, where the bravest men are honored for their lives, and where the founders of our Country committed treason against their roots, knowing that their dream of America was worth the risk. I know at almost 7 and a half, it's hard to mentally digest the significance of the White House, the Capitol, the Memorials, and that's okay. Because in the next few years, you'll get it.

I'm glad to have had an uninterrupted week with you, seeing Washington DC, riding the metro, visiting Museums, snow-tubing in Pennsylvania, hanging out at the Gaylord, and just being buddies with no set itinerary. Just being.

While this is a new month, it is also a new year. God is good to give us a new year every 12 months, because it gives us a natural point of "reflection" or looking back at what we've done and been in the past year, and with His help, keep getting better at giving, loving, and living. I hope 2009 is a year of better-ness for you, where you keep all the good things, and take the things that need improvement and stay determined to take steps, even if baby steps, toward your goals.

You impress me with the amount of love in your heart, ChellBell. I hope you choose to give that love away more and more. You impress me with your invention ideas. You impress me with your ability to perceive things and understand the unexplained.

I love you very much.

You, me, and Daddy -- we make a good fami-wii.

Love, Mama

And today makes 88

ChellBell, today you are 88 months old.

Long before the year was two-thousand-and-something, there were actually the nineteen-hundreds. I know that seems like ages ago, but it really wasn't long before you were born that we were in the Nineteens. There are a couple of "nineteen" years that are special to me -- Nineteen-seventy is the year I was born. Nineteen-ninety-six is the year Daddy and I got married. And nineteen-eighty-eight is the year I finished high school. We were the class of '88. So 88 is a really special number to me. It makes me think of being all grown up. Trying to figure life out. Trying to figure out the next step.

It's very suiting that you turned 88 this month, because this has been a big month of you growing up a bit more and trying to figure life out and where you want to go with it.

The most memorable thing from this month for me was watching you get baptized. Oh, the actual moment was really neat, but the inquiries and questions that brought you to that moment will be just as memorable. I am always proud of you, no matter what you do, but my heart did beat a little bit faster, and my smile was a little bit bigger that day, watching you grow one more inch on your spiritual growth chart.

From my own 88 experience, let me give you some advice. When you start to feel all grown up, it's easy to think that you don't need your parents or rules. But I have found that it's just not true. It's easy to think you're too big to play with little kids or to do things that you did when you were younger. And that's not true either.

Whether you're 88 months or 88 years, you be ChellBell. Don't ever let yourself outgrow who you are today because it would be a shame if we lost that precocious, silly, determined spirit of yours.

All my love to you, my C-ster.

Love, Mama

Eighty Seven

Dearest ChellBell,

We skipped a month, but I'm catching up with month 87. Wow, you're 87 months old. That's really, really old. Unless you compare it to how many months I am, and then it's really, really young.

I'm sitting here watching election results as I type to you, preparing for a historic outcome and a year of change. This is the first election you've actually been able to comprehend, and I appreciate your huge vote of confidence for the Republicans. And I agree that red is a better color than blue and that elephants are better than donkeys. But watching the polls, those two things may not be enough for us this time around.

This is the first of so many switches in presidency and power that you will experience in your lifetime. You'll be pleased with some outcomes and downright nauseous over others. Life will be a constant shift in power here on earth. But thankfully, we don't rest our eyes on whoever calls 1600 Pennsylvania Ave home. We rest our eyes and our hope on the one who calls the heavens his home and who breathed life into each of us. He doesn't draw party lines and isn't dictated by polls.

He is God.

He is Large. And in Charge.

And he does not need the popular vote or the electoral vote to be King.

So, my dear ChellBell, always remember that God is in charge. In everything you do, that will be true. When you are cheering, God is in charge. When you are playing the piano, God is in charge. When you are in karate, God is in charge. When you practice for UIL, God is in charge. At Girl Scouts, God is in charge (and then Miss Lisa comes next). When you are scared, God is in charge. When you are happy, God is in charge.

(Get it?)

That's a big lesson for someone 87 months old. Heck, that's a big lesson for someone 456 months old. But it's the best lesson we could ever learn.

You know I love you, my sweet, with all my heart, and I have no doubt that this 87th month is going to be fantastic and fun!

Love, Mama