Remembering has never been a strong suit of mine. Ever since I was a little girl, my most common phrase has likely been, "Oops, I forgot." My Mom would always recommend that I tie a string around my finger when I needed to remember something (which seriously is not as easy as it sounds, plus you're assuming that you'll actually remember what it was you weren't supposed to forget...). Fortunately, now that I'm older, I have help -- online calendars, an iPhone, and lists -- but, sadly, I still fall victim to my forgetfulness on a weekly if not daily basis.
So we started off the New Year with a bang, celebrating with the Darlings. Oh the happy, shiny New Year, bringing promise that it would right everything that was wrong in 2009. A clean slate for starting over. Like a newly sharpened pencil or that new car smell. While I am normally sentimental about saying goodbye to another year, I happily bid 2009 farewell and jumped right into 2010.
And then yesterday happened. Eleven days into my squeaky clean, shiny new year. A less than perfect day that ended with a call from the school principal (never good), which caused me to have to leave work early and cancel a dinner meeting, which is when I heard the thump-thump-thump noise in my tire, which is how I found out that I had a flat and was driving on the rim, which launched an exhausting and emotional evening.
So much for my shiny new year. My clean slate now has some dirt on it.
I think I have my most communicative conversations with God in times like that. You know, the kind where I talk a lot and He does a lot of listening. So last night I bombarded Him with all my questions like, "Where did I go wrong as a parent?" "Why did this day have to happen?" "How am I going to fix this?" "Why can't life be happy and easy all the time?" and finally "What do you want me to learn from this terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day?"
(And then I shut up)
I didn't hear an audible voice. No scripture was written on the wall. No bush aflame. Just a mental picture. A picture of me with a string tied around my finger. A string that served as a reminder. A reminder that I am helpless without God, and I need Him.
And yesterday had to happen, so that I wouldn't forget.
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