Thursday, February 14, 2008

My husband gave me Fritos and Bean Dip for Valentine's Day

After a medium-rare filet, baked potato, green beans, and just a taste (or two) of Chocolate Thunder Cake (or was that Thunder Thigh cake?), this girl is ready to turn in and call it a day. Another Valentine's Day.

Sitting at dinner with Chris and ChellBell, I was amused to watch the tables for two, as the couples looked dreamily into each others eyes, making the nervous, gratuitous giggles when the other said something the least bit funny. Happy to be with that person (or some person) on Valentine's Day. It is fun to be in love on February 14th.

Am I still in love? That's an interesting question after 11, soon to be 12 years of marriage. I am. Yes, I definitely am. But being in love means something totally different now than it did when we were dating. And even something different from when we got married. Being in love now looks a whole lot like the time when we weren't in love.

Chris and I met my Junior year in college (he was just a wee Freshman) and became good friends. We had each other listed as #1 for the "back up" date. You know, the person who will know other people at the party and be able to entertain themselves should you find a "real" date while you're there.

We weren't in love. We weren't going to be in love. Because we didn't even consider love when we were with each other. We were just good friends. Comfortable, true, silly, candid friends. No pretense. No unspoken expectations.

And then one day, we fell in love.

I knew. And he knew. It just fit. With that "this is going to be forever" kind of fit. And it still does. It's comfortable. It's comfortable and true and silly and candid, just like it was when we were good friends.

Okay, so there are the sparks. Definitely sparks. Sometimes fireworks and sometimes sparklers.

But the solidarity of the relationship isn't judged by the size of the spark. Solidarity is when one holds the match book and the other strikes the match. You do it together. You do life together. Like great friends. No pretense. No unspoken expectations.

I'm so happy that my best friend turned out to be my forever-and-ever love. Comfortable, true, silly, and candid. Not only do I love you, my sweet, but I really like you.

(and I love my Fritos and Bean Dip a hundred times more than any Valentine candy!) XXOO

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