Love Letters

If you ever visit Pop Rocks on the 4th of the month, you'll find a special post written to my 7 year old daughter, ChellBell.  She was born on August 4th, and every month I like to remind her about things she's experienced and things we've done, but also let her in on how I feel about her. 

Monthly Notes to ChellBell are always pretty sappy, but it's honestly because I am crazy about her and never, ever want her to doubt that or forget that.

That kind of written expression comes naturally to me, because I grew up with it.  My parents are both gifted writers (my sister is as well), and though words of love were often spoken, they were just as often written.  Written on notes, written on napkins in a lunchbox, written in letters. I am crazy about the written word.  Especially when it's a love letter.  Because love letters are tangible.  And they are forever.  Sometimes they last longer than the author, and sometimes they last longer than the love itself.  The written word lasts, and it is there to be experienced over and over again.

My Mom lurks on my blog (I just found out), and posted a comment on the Mom's Day post.  It was very moving and emotional for me, and I wanted to share it.  I wanted to just share the honesty and love that comes from her.  You'll see that it has flowed down through the generations.  I was loved by my Mom, which taught me how to love as a Mom.  

After leaving the comment, Mom apologized for it being so long (she's new to blogging protocol), but I say she's allowed to leave comments as long and as often as she wants!

Christie, I always cry through your blog.

Your Dad asked me what I wanted for Mother's Day. I told him I didn't need anything. He asked what I wanted. I couldn't even think of anything I wanted, yet I got it...to spend fun time with my family. Everyday life is a gift, especially when there is relationship in the family. 

You know I have always hated those cards that say, "Although I never say it...!" And I want to yell, "Go ahead and say it, say it, say it...every day, say it!" And you do say it...to your child, your husband, your parents. Thank you for demonstrating love in ways far greater than words can express.

I have seen how you and your sister have grown into beautiful ladies, and I don't know how that happened with me as a mother. Then I realize I had little to do with it, other than spending much time on my knees talking to your Father, and with the guidance of your earthly father...plus asking for forgiveness often. I made all the mistakes a parent can make... and not just once. I still question God, asking why YOU were not the mother and me, the child. I learn so much about Godly mothering from you. And actually as I see you and Cella together, I think I would like to start over again and have another chance. (Easier to say at my age than to do!) You are a wonderful Mom.

I remember the day you were a little older than Cella, and you wanted to know if you could ask me a question without hurting my feelings. I began to cry out to God for wisdom even before I heard the question. You asked, "Mom, when I grow up, do I have to be like you?" I knew it was "one of those impact moments," and God did give me wisdom. I remember saying, "Yes, honey, you have to be like me. You have to love the Lord with all your heart. Other than that, you don't have to be like me at all." You smiled and said, 
"Wow. Thanks Mom." I didn't know if I had won or lost...but I knew that was the right answer. 

You are so unlike me in so many ways...And that is a complement, filled with much joy and gratitude. You have "improved" life and broken the generational "stuff." You have taken some of the good things of your Dad's and my life and have improved them and added to them. That is exciting to watch. 

When I was growing up, I didn't know you could love your children, much less LIKE them. Heck, I didn't even know you could like yourself. And when you and your sister showed me love, it overwhelmed me and taught me about God Himself. You still do. And I doubt that Cella will ever question the love of God because she sees it daily in you and Chris. I love that.

You truly are a delight. I need nothing else. I actually don't even want anything...my life is so blessed. I understand grace! And I love calling you my friend!
Mom