Friday, September 14, 2007

RAH RAH REE, kick 'em in the knee...

It's ironic how time flies at the speed of light some days and on other days just seems to stand still (like waiting for the season premiere of Grey's Anatomy). Time in marriage is the same -- there are days when it seems like we exchanged vows just yesterday, and other days when I question that it was only 11 years ago.

Chris and I exchanged traditional vows and agreed that "for better or worse" we would still love each other. I remember having a flash of what the "worse" would look like: having to fit his ghastly LazyBoy recliner into my decor, or having to someday succumb to buying an artificial Christmas Tree... The horrors of blending two lives together.

Who knew that three little letters would actually top the "worse" charts for me. No, I don't mean those three letters -- I'm talking about the NFL. As if defying the holiness of the Sabbath with football isn't bad enough (in addition to Monday night games and pre-game shows and during-the-week commentaries), the Fantasy Football phenom hit and every football-watching male began to live out their little boy dream of owning a football team. Chris was right there with them, sucked in, and the $100 he invested in league fees (for each League he joined, I might add) was the smallest price in comparison to the monopoly on his time and priorities. Statistically speaking, I don't know how many marriages fall apart over the NFL, but it certainly does contribute to a high percentage of women's bitterness. This is why, men, Valentine's Day falls in February. It is a chance to make up for the football season. A time to redeem yourselves.

I have been bitter for 11 consecutive football seasons and honestly, it's exhausting. So this year, I say if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Thus the creation of (drum roll, please) the Powder Puff fantasy football team (represented by a pink helmet, of course) right in the middle of Chris' Football League, Pigskin Glory. Our evening discussions now revolve around words like "bye weeks", "Wide Receiver" and "projections" and names like "Antwaan Randle El" and "Plaxico Burris". It's funny how the creation of Powder Puff was really more to annoy my husband (and believe me, with my #2 standing in the League, it's pretty annoying to him), but between you and me, this has actually become somewhat addicting, and I'm pretty sure I'm hooked.

So my only dilemma now is what I'll be getting Chris for Valentine's Day...

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